An Attitude of Inner Curiosity

I lost my hearing aid a few days ago, which is a big "oops" if you make your living as a listener. It’s also an "oops" if you have young children like I do. I’m deaf in the other ear, so losing this device for my "good" ear is not such a good thing.

As a counselor, and on my own journey of development, I try to make it a practice to look at events in my life as information or as teachers. But—to be honest—I am annoyed, mad, and scared right now. I’m indulging myself in the "what if’s" about my hearing. My mind starts to run: "What if it gets worse, and what if I can’t make a living doing what I love, and what if I can’t hear my children, my husband, my future grandchildren?"

Then, I watch myself and say internally "Right now, I’m going to choose curiosity over fear, not knowing what that really means practically yet. Okay, I know that the Course in Miracles talks about choosing love over fear. What about curiosity? Curiosity is a form of love is it not? What if right now I consciously chose curiosity over fear?"

Having an attitude of curiosity is a practice in our work here at Centerpoint, especially when we feel vulnerable and scared or we are "what if-ing" all over the place. If I’m curious, I really turn everything upside down. I don’t know how things will turn out. With curiosity, I’m responding to this not knowing about my hearing aid with interest and wonder rather than constriction: What if I find out something new here? What if there’s newer technology now? What if I can have more quiet in my life right now? Mmmmm, what if…?