Learning How to Disappoint Others

Choosing between several options is really hard for me. One issue that I run up against is the strong tendency for me to be a "people pleaser."

A few nights ago, I had three possibilities of events to attend on the same night. I started getting anxious about which one to choose, partly because I wanted to do all three and partly because I didn’t want to disappoint the hosts. Somehow, in my ruminating about what to do, I lost my own "voice" and I lost the sense of what my values are. What I really wanted became murky.

This sudden anxiety over choices has come up a few times for me lately, which makes me wonder: What lesson can I learn from this? My thought is that I need to learn how to disappoint people.  That may sound strange, but I believe it would be a healthy exercise for me to disappoint some people—not just for the heck of it, but rather because I need practice pushing through the discomfort I feel whenever those I care about are displeased.

I must learn to follow my intuition authentically at all times and not just when it’s easy. An analogy that comes to mind from another area I’m seeking to grow in is weightlifting.  Muscles are strengthened by regular repetitions of weight bearing exercises. Lifting weights actually causes small muscle fibers to be broken down, which over time builds up the muscle. Likewise, as I strengthen my own voice and break down the patterns that hold me back, I’m building up my "choice" muscle. I don’t particularly enjoy the process but I am always proud of the results.