Marking Milestones

Yesterday, Labor Day, was the day my husband lost his job. Well, sort of.

Yesterday was the end of my husband’s contract with the United States Navy. And you know what? I forgot about it until someone reminded me on Facebook today. I’ve known for a long time that being a military wife long-term is not something I want to do. It’s not a good fit for me. I’ve been counting down the milestones along the way to yesterday, and had the date in my mind for years now. I threw a little party at the two-years-left mark, even when my husband was out to sea. I kept a calendar in my head and on my MySpace page counting down. And yet, when the day came, I forgot.

I think it’s because I’ve already moved on. My husband has taken his left over vacation days and started college with his GI Bill already. I’ve moved to Seattle from Bremerton and don’t see a lot of my friends that are still connected to the Navy. It’s just not on my radar much anymore, which makes me think about what we tell people about the Cycle of Change, particularly the part about Fall. (You can learn more about the Cycles of Change in Centerpoint’s LifeWork Renewal workshop.)  In Fall, you’re re-evaluating and questioning where you’re at in your life, relationship, or your career.  In Fall, you reach a “No” point. You realize that you can’t continue with the situation as it is and that something has to change. You move on in some way, even if it’s not literally true. 

There a lot of people who emotionally leave their jobs long before they actually quit. They’ve reached that “No” point even though they’re still doing the same work and pulling a paycheck. It’s after you you’ve said “No” that you can move on to other things.  Are there things that you’ve already said “No” to that you haven’t acknowledged? Are you doing the hard work to find what you want, and what will bring you back to a “Yes” point? Are you paying attention to your own milestones?