Change Can Be Daunting... even when we choose it

About five years ago my husband Dennis and I put in a patio in our backyard. It was part of our get rid of all the grass project. We are very proud of it since we designed it and it’s made mostly of recycled bricks and stones that we collected ourselves. It’s on the large side: about 25 feet long by 13 feet wide. For those reading this who live in Seattle, you know what happens over time to bricks.

Many things grow in the garden that were never sown there. ~Thomas Fuller, 1732

If you’re from other parts, we find that what likes to grow on patios through our grey and rainy winters is lichen and moss. Over time it fills in the cracks and crevices and can even erode away the brick. Dennis and I have wanted to clear it and re-sand the patio for a couple years now. Somehow it’s a project that gets put off since it’s a tedious, big job.

Today is one of those spectacular sunny days in Seattle that requires you to be outside. In looking around the garden at the various needed tasks, I decided to pick the blueberries (not a great crop this year; probably due to the cool spring we had) and get started on the patio. As I began scraping, I realized just how big and daunting a job this was. It took me several minutes just to clear out a few bricks; I felt like I was never going to be able to complete it. I realized I was having an internal conversation with myself (or was it one of my gremlins?) about it. It went something like this:

• Are you sure you want to do this?
  
• Oh yes, it’s been something on the to-do list that would make me feel good every time I sit out on the patio this summer.
  
• But look how long this is going to take; if you stop now, you could pick another task that you could actually finish sometime this century.
  
• You’re right but I really want to do this; it’s important to me.
  
• Yes, but you’re even beginning to get blisters from just this little patch; give it up.
  
• I can do this, little by little. So what if I don’t complete it today?
  

The conversation kept going but then, so did the scraping. I remained focused on what I wanted to do and realized that each small step (scrape) was helping me reach my goal of what I wanted to accomplish. I was able to complete a major corner of the patio before taking out the laptop to write down these thoughts.

Now, just to be clear, I wasn’t trying to push through this project; I really wanted to work on it and found I had energy for it. But once I began I realized just how big it was and was tempted to back off. I realize that that can happen with other changes in our lives. Like, for instance, the big shifts that Centerpoint is experiencing right now. I see some people backing off because the leap seems so daunting and overwhelming, even though they know that it’s what’s needed for Centerpoint to take its next steps.

Maybe what we can all take away from my patio experience is that sometimes we just have to let ourselves to take the first step and start down the path toward change. There’s nothing wrong with taking small steps to begin; in fact, small is exactly what will help us gain the momentum to continue.

What small step do you need to take today to get what you want in your life?